On the ubiquitous FB this past evening, I was shaking with an anger so raw. I’m in a few Nerdfighter groups, to which the purpose of the group is ambivilent, mostly where nerds and nerd-sympathisers can commiserate over the love for Doctor Who, Harry Potter and the like. The original purpose of Nerdfighters was to “Decrease World Suck,” be that by promoting good causes or helping people feel less alone in this vast universe. It is up to the individuals what they do to lessen the
This evening I’ve been posting furiously after I read a very very disturbing post of a young woman’s date she went on. I do not say this lightly; It was less a date more of a near rape.
She said that her date was dismissive and talked down to her, also forceably held her hand. That’s where the “light-ness” stopped. She says he locked her in his car, terrorized her by speeding and not following traffic laws. Locked her windows and when she needed to look up directions to her home he wouldnt allow it.
At the end of the terrorizing, came the assault. She did not want his advances, and he continued physically contacting her. He forced his hands on her legs as well as he forcably kissed her while she had persisted that she was not interested.
She said she was trying her hardest not to be a lump on the floor she was wrecked with anxiety and that feeling you have when you’ve been violated.
Her nearly immediate reaction was to blow it off as “not serious” and she didnt want to “tattle-tell on him.” I’m so very annoyed and angry and furious and I want to shake her and say, “What makes you think you’re worth less than a human being should be!?”
I had to point out that her predator has probably done this before, and will probably do it again. He needs to be reported and stopped. My insistance was that this was not normal, why is it becoming semi-normal?
Why do females feel the near constant need to have some form of physical violence deterrant on them? Pepper spray that’s pink, tazers that are bejewelled. If you desire one you can procure them here.
Pink is the emphsis for the upcoming Breast Cancer Awareness. WomenOnGuard.com has quite the assortment, even Dooney & Bourke holsters for them.
If a person, male or female says NO once to anyone the person they declined, is not allowed. It doesn’t matter if she had a low cut shirt, high heels, tight jeans or shiny lips. We women are not asking for it.
Who taught her ‘date’ that it is acceptable to terrorize the person you were with? To make them afraid for their life and safety? Where is this learned?
I feel like I need to start an after school club for boys to teach them how to behave on dates(LGBTQ friendly), and then another one for young ladies who need to know when they should call the police because a forced kiss is assault. I’m saddned and worried as this continues, will women ever feel truly safe?
Rahim Kanani: How would you characterize the landscape of justice today with respect to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence and stalking here in the United States?
“Although violent crime has decreased nationwide, the crimes of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking still devastate the lives of too many women, men, youth, and children. Since then-Senator Biden brought national attention to crimes of violence against women in hearings in 1990, we have learned more about their shocking prevalence. One in every four women and one in every seven men have experienced severephysical violence by a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Stalkers victimize approximately 5.2 million women and 1.4 million men each year in the U.S, with domestic violence-related stalking the most common type of stalking and often the most dangerous. One in ten 9th-12th grade students were physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend in 2009 alone. One in five women and one in 71 men have been raped in their lifetimes, and nearly 1.3 million women in the U.S. are raped every year. The statistics are sobering – even more so with our understanding that these types of crimes are often the most underreported. Many victims suffer in silence without confiding in family and friends, much less reaching out for help from hospitals, rape crisis centers, shelters, or even the police.”
It’s a very good article, but I’m still baffled that there not had a significant for-the-better change in the last two decades it seems. The social impact of these numbers are astounding.
I’m still angry, the young woman is still stressed and yes, it’s nearly 4 am as I write this CST time. I will stay up for for hours on end to make sure this young lady knows she was not to blame, should feel absolutely no shame and that she knows people out there are good and care that she doesnt feel like less of a human being because of some jerk.
Kanani, Rahim. “DOJ Director on Violence Against Women in the United States.”Forbes. Forbes Magazine, 08 Mar. 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2014.